7 Reasons Valentine’s Day Totally Sucks

Just when you think it’s safe to go back to some semblance of normalcy after the holidays, along comes  that next thorn in your side, Valentine’s Day. Man, does this suck. It’s as though someone doesn’t want you to be comfortable, or save money. We could go on, but … On second thought, we need to go on, because that’s our job. So then, here are 7 reasons why Valentine’s Day totally sucks:

  1. Is it really necessary to set apart a special day to remind us of how unpopular or unloved we truly are? Why not just call it Another Holiday Card List Your Name Isn’t On?
  2. For Guys: Chick flick movies up the wazoo. Is this heaven? No it’s Iowa … during an EF-5 tornado.
  3. For Girls: Cheesy cards and candy from secret admirers (nerdy losers) up the wazoo. Where’s Patrick Dempsey when you need a house call?
  4. It only adds more pressure and expectations to dating that guy you just met last month at a New Year’s Eve party. Now you feel like they’re supposed to mean more to you than they actually do; and if they don’t, you just feel worse.
  5. Anyway, it’s really just another marketing ploy to fill the gap between New Year’s Day and Easter.
  6. It comes too soon for us to reach our New Year resolution to get in shape. Why can’t they push it back, closer to swimsuit season? Is that asking too much? Not to mention …
  7. Chocolates. Lots of chocolates. Is this a conspiracy to keep us from losing all that weight we already put on over the holidays?  Give us a break already. Next, it’s Easter!

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