Even the happiest couples can run into a serious roadblock when one person wants children and the other doesn’t, but broaching the subject can be sticky. Opening the discussion too soon can make your partner feel like they’re being rushed into very serious commitments, but avoiding the topic for too long can lead to disappointment. Here are ten ways to find out if your lover wants children in the future.
- Invite Them To Family Dinner – Dinners or other gatherings where the extended family will be together are a great way to expose your mate to the little ones in your family. If they ignore the kids altogether, they might not be interested in any of their own.
- Take a Trip to The Park – A romantic day at the park can also serve as a barometer for parental instincts. If your lover avoids the kids or seems irritated by them, they might not be parent material.
- Point Out Cute Kids – The next time you’re enjoying a shopping trip or dining out with your honey and you spot a particularly adorable tyke, point them out. If they seem disinterested or change the subject, starting a family might not be on their to-do list.
- Talk About General Plans For the Future – Asking your sweetie where they see themselves in ten years or what their long-term goals are might turn up the answers you’re looking for. If they want children in the future, they’ll probably say so in their response.
- Mention Friends’ Children – Talking about your friends’ kids can elicit a response from your significant other in a general sense; if you relay a particularly cute anecdote, they may mention how they’re looking forward to children of their own one day. Conversely, they may firmly state that they never want kids.
- Start a Discussion About Birth Control – The issue of birth control is one that every couple has to address; it’s a great opportunity to say things like, “I want children one day, but definitely not yet.” Statements like this can get the conversation off the ground without feeling like you’re pushing too hard.
- Visit Friends or Family in the Hospital After a Birth – Few things stir up the parental instincts like a newborn. If a friend or family member has a new baby, bring your mate along for the visit. Simply seeing new parents in action might cause the conversation to develop naturally.
- Pay Attention To Their Language – The words that a person uses and their inflection can often clue you in to their thought processes. When the subject of children comes up, watch their facial expressions and listen to the way they speak. If their tone is derisive or disgusted, it’s a good sign that they’re not interested in parenting.
- Observe How They Interact With Their Nieces and Nephews – While introducing your mate to the little ones in your family can give you some clues, their behavior can be colored by the desire to make a good impression or anxiety from meeting the whole clan. Watching how your lover interacts with the children in their own family can be more telling, as they’re likely to be more comfortable and genuine.
- Just Ask – Taking the plunge and asking this question can be nerve-wracking, but so can analyzing their every move and trying to decode their statements. If becoming a parent (or not) is a deal-breaker for you, you should take the bull by the horns, so to speak.
In the early stages of a relationship, tackling the big issues can be a bit too forward. These situations might call for careful handling; however, if you’ve been together for quite some time, you should feel comfortable enough to talk about things that affect your lives and your future together.