When people first get married it’s usually under the premise of being for the long haul with promises to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. Fidelity is generally an assumption that’s contained within those promises. But what happens once the honeymoon phase is over and reality sets in? What happens when one spouse is a workaholic and the fire of romance becomes a barely glowing ember? Here are ten reasons why the spouse of a workaholic might look outside the marriage for satisfaction.
- Feelings of abandonment – No one likes to feel like they’ve been abandoned. If you’re a workaholic and never home or available, your spouse may very well feel like he or she has been left alone, and in an attempt to remedy those feelings may turn to someone else.
- Loneliness – The spouse of a workaholic can become lonely. When you first get married, you don’t expect to have to spend a lot of time alone or that you’ll have to compete with your spouse’s job for their time and attention. When the loneliness gets to be chronic then the situation becomes ripe for adultery.
- Pay back – Some may feel wronged by the fact that their spouse is choosing work over their relationship. He or she may choose involvement in an extramarital affair as a way of getting back at their mate.
- Friendship – Sometimes a friendship will develop between the spouse of the workaholic and someone else. This friendship can fill a certain need for communication and attention, and before you know it, the connection turns into something more. It may not be an intentional affair, but one that happens as a natural progression of the relationship.
- Excitement – Workaholics have their work to keep them busy and entertained. Not so with their spouses. The spouse may go looking for some excitement and find it in a willing sex partner.
- Not satisfied with home life – It would be difficult to be satisfied with your home life when your spouse is always gone and never available. Some spouses may try to make it work for a while, but after realizing that nothing is changing they may decide to find satisfaction elsewhere.
- Lack of sexual satisfaction – A workaholic is most likely going to come home tired and crabby from over working. The last thing they will be interested in is sex. Meanwhile the spouse has to deal with this lack of sexual stimulation night after night. Along with that, the times when there is sexual activity may not be that rewarding. This could cause the spouse to search out a partner who can be more sexually fulfilling.
- Boredom – While the workaholic has his or her work to occupy their time, the spouse most likely will get stuck in a boring routine day after day. When boredom sets in, it can create fertile ground for thoughts to occur about roaming in greener fields. In an effort to conquer the boredom the spouse may go seek out thrills with someone else.
- Unhappiness – Being the spouse of a workaholic can lead to a lot of personal unhappiness. If the spouse is constantly trying to get the workaholic to be a little more considerate of home life and the marriage, but is continuously met with more of the same, the unhappiness will grow. This in turn can lead to one who strays from the marriage in order to find some kind of happiness elsewhere.
- Frustration – A workaholic may not realize how selfish they are being. They may honestly feel that they are doing what’s best for the family. Meanwhile the spouse may be trying to get the message across that the relationship is the more important of the two. As the message continues to fall on deaf ears the frustration will mount. The spouse may initiate an affair out of frustration thinking that infidelity might just be the wakeup call their spouse needs.
Whatever the reason, and there are many, it’s best to seek counseling before choosing to have an affair. If both partners are willing to work together to save the marriage, chances are it can be saved and possibly made even be stronger.