10 Reasons NOT to Re-ignite an Old Flame

Old flames are like old shoes, they might be comfortable at first, but they won’t last.  Before the Internet was around it was pretty hard to reconnect with an old flame, but now with the various social sites it is easier than ever to find an old flame.  Check out 10 reasons NOT to re-ignite an old flame.

  1. Ruin your marriage: Many times people are bored in their marriage or are going through a rough patch and they decide to look up an old flame.  It’s all innocent at first.  They are just hoping to chat about old times and get a little emotional pick-me-up.  Then the e-mails get more personal and the phone calls start.  It’s just a hop, skip and a jump before they are meeting at a hotel room.
  2. Never as good as you remember: Time has a way of making us forget the bad times and only remember the good times.  There was a reason that the two of you broke up all those years ago.  Whatever those reasons were, they are probably all still there all these years later.  Don’t start something back up that is just going to cause you pain all over again?
  3. Curiosity killed the cat: Many people are just curious when it starts out.  I wonder what so-and-so is doing these days.  Maybe your old flame is not over you and still holds resentment?  It could get ugly and who really needs that?  Better to just move on.
  4. Let sleeping dogs lie: It’s always a good idea to live your life looking forward and not back.  If you are unhappy in your present relationship you need to fix it so that you can move forward.  The past is the past and it needs to stay there.  A happy memory that you can fondly look back on and then move on.  If you are single again look for Mr. or Mrs. Right.  Obviously your ex wasn’t that person the first time around so what makes this time any different?
  5. Time heals all pain: Many times people want to make contact with an old flame so they can mend fences or feel better about the break up.  If it’s been many years this is probably pointless because your ex has moved on and most likely forgotten all about it.  If it hasn’t been many years then the hurt could still be too raw and you are potentially opening up an old wound that doesn’t need to be opened.
  6. The grass isn’t always greener: More times than not when people think about rekindling an old flame they have the rose colored glasses of time on.  We forget the heart break after a while and believe it was all roses and champagne.  In every relationship there will be ups and downs.  It will be the same if you rekindle that old flame.  No one is perfect.
  7. Avoiding tough issues: Make sure that you are not using this old flame to distract you from tough issues you need to face in your current situation.  Sometimes people will reach out to an old flame because that was a sweeter more innocent time.  Fewer responsibilities back then may have made that relationship what it was, but now you are all grown up and have to deal with your issues and not hide from them.
  8. You may be using them: Often times when people feel the urge to reconnect with an old flame it’s during a time of loneliness.  Make sure that you are not using your old flame just to make you feel better and pass the time.  If you reconnect and rekindle that old flame in them and then you just needed a pick-me-up to get you through a lonely time then it’s not fair to them.  You will be hurting that person all over again.
  9. Bringing up bad memories: On the surface it might seem like a good idea to reignite an old flame, but when you get in deeper you may end up bringing up all the bad memories from before.  We tend to forget the bad things until we are reminded of them by something that our old flame does the second time around.  Don’t put yourself through it.
  10. It’s not fair to their significant other: One thing to keep in mind when deciding whether to rekindle and old flame or not is to make sure that they are completely single.  Even if they are dating someone, that’s important.  Just because you are bored and ready to flirt with an ex they might be in a relationship that is really going someplace.  Or they might be married.  Be careful that your desires don’t end up hurting innocent people. 

 

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