When people get married, there is a certain assumption that the marriage will be monogamous. However, despite this assumption, there has been a marked increase in the number of affairs in the past several years and our society seems to be getting more tolerant of this breach in the marital contract. Unfortunately, no matter how accepting society may be of these indiscretions, it is still a very painful situation when you find out that your spouse has been cheating on you. So what drives people to break their marriage vows? This list includes some of the reasons people give for being unfaithful to their spouse.
- Open marriage – Sometimes a spouse may feel that they are in an open marriage, so that having sex with someone outside the marriage is perfectly acceptable. The other spouse may or may not agree with that.
- Boredom – If one spouse gets bored in the relationship, he or she may seek an extramarital affair just to add some new excitement to their life. The thrill of sneaking around and attempting to not get caught brings some spark back into their life.
- Games people play – Wife swapping is still a game that some people play. Unfortunately, people don’t realize that it damages relationships in the long run. Some people believe it invigorates the marriage, but eventually it can lead to serious problems.
- Excitement – For some people, the possibility of getting caught in the act is an exciting turn on. They don’t necessarily want to get caught, but the possibility that they could be discovered adds to the arousal, making the affair seem like a dangerous, but fun adventure.
- Lack of satisfaction – Some married people claim that, while they are emotionally content with their significant others, their spouse cannot offer them sexual satisfaction. Instead they seek out that satisfaction outside the marriage.
- Revenge – Occasionally, a spouse may want to seek revenge for one thing or another and attempt to do it by having an affair. In this case, the spouse knows that an affair would be the most painful thing they could ever do to their mate.
- Loneliness – If one spouse is a workaholic, the other one may be dealing with feelings of loneliness and make a decision to look outside the marriage to alleviate the feeling. This usually makes things worse because guilt is added to the loneliness, making a recipe for disaster.
- Friendship – Sometimes an affair will grow out of friendship between two people. In such a case the affair is usually something that wasn’t planned and happens after a “weak moment.” Oftentimes, the people have been friends for quite a while, and one day they find themselves in a compromised situation.
- Falling in love with someone else – Once in a while, a spouse may meet someone else and fall in love with that person. No one really knows why people fall in love, but even when married, there is the possibility that one could fall in love with someone outside the marriage.
- Inability to be faithful – There are those people who cannot be faithful to just one person. Such people should not get married, yet they crave the stability and comfort that marriage provides; they just cannot remain faithful to their spouse.
It’s disturbing to know that almost half of all married men and a quarter of married women are participating in extramarital affairs. The affairs usually occur because some need is not being fulfilled within the marriage. The good news is that many marriages can be saved as long as both spouses are willing to seek out a good counselor and work through the problems together.