As long as we’re all communicating via social media and even dating online, perhaps it’s time to combine the two into something succinct and convenient. We propose dating profiles that fit the Twitter format, so that we can tweet and meet all in one place. Here are 10 dating profiles in 140 characters or less:
1. For everyone’s favorite jilted heartthrob, Jennifer Anniston:
@JennAnn Attractive SWF, loves movies, esp. rom-coms; seeks man who won’t run off w/ a bimbo & adopt enough kids for a hockey team.
2. We kind of picture Charlie Sheen venturing back into the dating world thusly:
@Winning! SWM, love 2 party; Prefer gal w/pulse, but flexible. Got more love than #2 ½ men, or a whole #platoon. Bring a friend.
3. If a certain former president ever decides he’s tired of playing Mr. Mom:
@BClinton WM Former #Executive type, stay-at-home dad; seeking partner for discreet relationship. No exp nec, will consider interns.
4. Not that he needs to advertise, but a George Clooney personal ad might look like this:
@GClooney DWM movie buff, activist; enjoy travel; at home in blue jeans or a tux; seeking gorgeous, easy-going super-model/actress.
5. If only to keep him out of football for another year, we offer this:
@BFavre SWM, retiring type, photography buff, enjoy sports and sexting, seek a girl who can keep me occupied from Sept thru Feb.
6. Alex Rodriguez tends toward the high profile when it comes to romance, so:
@ARod SHM athletic, enjoy sports, dining out & fashion. Seeking female celebrity/sports fan who likes a man in pinstripes.
7. Lady Gaga, having confided that her song “Poker Face” was about her bisexuality, tweets:
@LadyGaga – SWF Eccentric, independent party girl. Looking for a partner, M/F, who can keep a “Poker Face”, and put up with paparazzi.
8. Lindsay Lohan might tweet a dating profile resembling this one:
@Lohan86 Hollywood Mean Girl, teenage drama queen, ready for a Freaky Friday, seeking b/f /designated driver. BYOB & bail money.
9. Danica Patrick, NASCAR and former IRL race car driver, and GoDaddy.com spokesperson:
@Danica No more crash and burn; Tired of running around in circles; I want a man who’s not afraid to let a girl take the wheel.
10. Jeremy Lin, current NBA player and phenom with the New York Knicks:
@JLIn SAM Just relocated; would love to meet a sane eligible girl to help me furnish my new place and cheer me from court-side.