10 Things to Avoid Saying to a Woman You Love

So you’ve finally met her, that special lady, ‘the one’, or maybe you’ve been married or together for a long time ,but you are looking for new ways of keeping the romance alive or possibly not continually putting your foot in it. Here are ten things that shouldn’t fall from your lips when talking to the woman in your life ….preferably ever!

  1. Has that dress shrunk since you last wore it? No, guys, just no! We girls are all sensitive about our weight and many of us are regularly on one diet or another. Also in this category to avoid : ‘should you really be eating that cake/burger.. and so on’.
  2. I can’t see you on your birthday, I’m already going out with my friends. No matter what special event in our lives you may have forgotten, please do the decent thing and rearrange your friends. Make us feel special on one day, and it will stand you in favor for lots more future nights out with your friends!
  3. What anniversary? Following on from (2), don’t ever say this, please! We like to remember the anniversary of the date we met, when we got married and the first time we visited particular places.  If you really can’t remember, then just lie, we’ll take that rather than you admitting something we don’t want to hear, or better still, say nothing and apologise. Tip :  Write all the big days down and try fixing a note written back to front and  sticking it to your forehead before the big day so you see it when you look in the mirror.
  4. ‘Nothing’ – in response to our question ‘what are you thinking about?’  In that case, how can you stare dumbfounded into space for all that time, and actually think ‘nothing’?
  5. That’s your mother not your sister? OK, often we have hot moms who put us to shame, but please do us a favor and don’t remind us.
  6. My mum makes a great apple pie. Reminding us that we can never aspire to your mom’s culinary or domestic skills doesn’t make us feel any better – nor is it likely to improve the standards of our cooking! We have plenty more undiscovered assets in any event.
  7. Why don’t you get a boob job (nose job/botox etc)? While you sit, not so subtly, slobbering over various lists of the world’s sexiest women. Yes, we’re not perfect, but we try, and these people have their stylists to help them… and they’re airbrushed!
  8. Can you believe she’s older than you? – when pointing at pictures of stars like Demi Moore, Elle Macpherson, Helen Mirren et al.  See comment for (7) above.
  9. It’s your fault  – Whatever it is, whether we were supposed to be navigating, or we’ve not reminded you it was a big sports night on the TV, it might be our fault, but this is an equal relationship. Perhaps you could start the sentence with ‘darling, I’m not saying I’m right, but should we have made a left sixteen miles back?’ or ‘I can’t believe I didn’t check the TV schedules’.
  10. I love you like my dog that died – Yes, these words have actually been uttered. We love the fact that you adored your pet and you have a hitherto well disguised vulnerable side, but equating your love for us – ostensibly the love of your life – with how much you loved your deceased animal friend… hey, here’s a stick.. go fetch, boy!

So please guys, just think, or if you really can’t think, just smile sweetly at us, give us a big bear-hug – and say nothing.

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